If you’re having a hard time forgiving someone, try this exercise:
STEP 1 - Get a piece of paper and pen/pencil. STEP 2 - Write a letter to this person expressing how you feel without leaving anything out - anger, sadness, hurt, betrayal, guilt... let it all out! STEP 3 - Burn it and let it go.
What does this do exactly? It allows your subconscious thoughts and feelings come to surface and transfers them onto something more concrete. This energy is then released elsewhere and recycled as it burns. Remember to let your thoughts and feelings run naturally, and it may take more than once for you to do this exercise depending on the intensity of your feelings.
Through my experience, I wrote things that I didn’t even know I was holding onto. Honestly, I was in shock and amazed at how intense my words were. How aware are we of our subconscious thoughts/feelings? Very rarely. Our subconscious makes up more than 90% of our beings and rules everyday thought patterns and behaviors so we may not be aware of our natural tendencies since we are not consciously aware of them. It is important to develop this awareness to recognize the root cause of our negative thought patterns.
Remember that forgiveness is NOT for others. It is for YOU! Now, it may feel like you are letting the others get away with what they did to you but the whole point is to develop peace of mind and heart. Everyone has their own karma.
It is important to create space for compassion when forgiving others. To do this, we must realize that people are only thinking and acting on their own level of understanding. We have all been conditioned by inherited and societal beliefs. Try to live with a warm heart under cold conditions. You can't control what others do. You can only control the way you react to certain situations. Don't let them take that power away from you. Take it back for your own good.