Have you ever heard, “you’re just like your mom” or realized, “I am my mother’s daughter?” Why? Well, you may not know it but a lot of the stuff you are carrying may not truly be yours. Some of that baggage originates from your ancestors who have gone through traumatic experiences and never healed from them throughout the years. These energies are passed down from generation to generation.
I have seen some repeated patterns within my family. The most prominent one is AVOIDANCE. Avoidance of feeling. Avoidance of SPEAKING your truth. I have been suffering from hypothyroidism, and not because of my diet. I eat SO healthy! When you consider the whole composition of the Self - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual - the root cause originated from the avoidance of speaking my truth. My mother's side has a history of thyroid issues. I know for sure that my mother avoids feeling her truth. When I was younger, she gave me the impression that vulnerability was a sign of weakness.
I was a quiet child growing up. I didn’t want to reveal my true Self. My mother always enforced a certain type of lifestyle that she wanted for me and I rarely had a say in it because it was the "best" for me. If I wanted anything otherwise, it didn't fit the equation. She had every excuse in the book. Every time I expressed my feelings to her, she would brush it aside saying things like "uh huh," "stop whining," or "ah, you're ok." She was a very skilled nurse tending to the physical care of others but when it came to deep rooted emotions, she covered it up and hoped it would heal on its own.
At school, I was very observant of the others' behaviors. So many judgments were being imposed and it hurt me to see things this way. I remained quiet because I didn't want to fall victim to it and soon realized that no matter what I did, it happened anyway. It was so detrimental to my well-being.
After high school, I felt the need to prove myself. I went through this cycle of revealing a part of my Self and then retracting due to fear. Then, I revealed someone that wasn’t me - a rebel acting out of anger, frustration, and depression. Eventually, I got tired of it all so I said "fuck it." I never felt like I was good enough either way. I spiraled into a dark hole and became reckless. I abused alcohol and went against everything I believed in. When I reached rock bottom, I felt so guilty. I started to over compromise to please others. I kept moving on opposite sides of the spectrum craving to find balance and didn't know how to get there.
Last year, medical doctors suggested that I get a partial thyroidectomy and take medicine for the rest of my life. I REFUSED to do something so unnatural to myself. I started researching on my own to find natural ways of healing. I stumbled upon the chakra system that explains how our bodies have energy centers along the spine that have specific functions and become imbalanced by certain habits that are not ideal for healthy energy flow. I paid particular attention to the throat chakra and found out that I have been blocking the flow of energy through my throat from all the years I have spent being so afraid to speak my needs and stand up for who I truly am.
Over the current years, I have been revealing my true self by speaking my truth and letting go of the mask. I never knew I had so much to say! A special thank you to those who let me run my mouth! After a few months of rambling, I am proud to say that my thyroid has reduced in size. The first photo below was last year. You can see the bulge of my thyroid. The second photo is current with almost no bulge!
It’s important to know the cyclical nature of family wounds so that you can be the one to break it and benefit future generations. For more information on ancestral trauma healing, please feel free to contact me.