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Managing People's Pain As An Empath


I have a fixer mentality, and as an empath, I am highly sensitive to my emotions and the emotions of others. At times, it can become quite overwhelming. From a young age, I learned to view pain as a problem and developed a tendency to "fix" it rather than flowing with it. I got used to overshadowing my emotions with logic because I was told that my sensitivity made me weak. This became very invalidating and detrimental to my health and my relationships with others. When it came to other people, I felt their pain as if it was my own so I dismissed their emotional experience and offered a solution without being asked to do so. I made it about me instead of acknowledging their emotions. After surrendering to and healing my own pain, I became aware of my sensitivity paired with egocentric tendencies. I realized that pain isn't something that needs to be fixed. It is just energy passing through which is not meant to be kept, dismissed or avoided. Pain is knowledge. It tells a story and gives us access to our healing. There is no right or wrong way of experiencing and expressing it. It is unique to the individual. This past year, my guides have been helping me heavily with this, more actively with my partner, friends and family members since they affect me the most. During triggering moments, they would ground me in place and say something like: "WAIT. Observe your emotions but do not attach to them. It is not your place to take this experience away from them. LISTEN. Listen with your heart, and not with your mind. Hear their words but FEEL into the emotions behind their words. Take this journey with them. Experience it, wholly and completely. This is about their pain, not yours. Hold space for them to fully process their emotions. Help them feel seen, heard and acknowledged. This pain/experience is only temporary. Trust the process." If this resonates, I hope this finds you well. We all want to be seen and heard, especially when it comes to expressing our emotions. It is not about agreeing or disagreeing with the circumstances. It is about acknowledging the experience. Observe with empathy and compassion. Drop the conditions and embody unconditional love.

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